“You Can Be Firm and, at the Same Time, Kind and Respectful”: Ambassador Iwona Piórko on Leadership, Kindness and Authenticity

The story of H.E. Iwona Piórko, the first woman to serve as European Union Ambassador to the Republic of Moldova, underscores both the progress made, and the barriers women continue to face in leadership. Her journey speaks to the importance of challenging stereotypes, navigating leadership in male-dominated spaces and remaining true to oneself. 

Before taking up her post in the Republic of Moldova, Ambassador Iwona Piórko served as the European Union Ambassador to Singapore and held several senior positions within the European institutions. Over the course of her career, she worked alongside Executive Vice-President Margrethe Vestager, High Representative for Foreign Affairs and Security Policy Federica Mogherini and Commissioner for Enlargement and European Neighbourhood Policy Štefan Füle. She also led the International Affairs Unit at the European Commission’s Directorate-General for Internal Market, Industry, Entrepreneurship and SMEs.

Among the leaders who inspired her most is Margarethe Vestager, whom she describes as an example of leading with both strength and kindness. “I learned that you can be one of the most famous female leaders in the world and never lose kindness,” she says. “You can be firm and, at the same time, kind and respectful.” 

For many women in diplomacy and public service, role models and mentors can play a vital role in navigating challenges and redefining what leadership looks like. Seeing women lead authentically not only helps break stereotypes but also inspires the next generation of women leaders to pursue careers in diplomacy and decision-making without feeling compelled to fit into traditional moulds.  

Another lesson that shaped Ambassador Piórko’s approach to leadership was the realisation that there is no single blueprint for how women leaders and diplomats should present themselves. Over the years, she encountered women in senior positions who challenged traditional expectations and proved that authenticity and professionalism are not mutually exclusive. Their example reinforced her belief that women should not feel compelled to adopt traditionally masculine leadership styles or dress in a certain way in order to succeed.  “When you are a woman leader, you should also be a woman,” she says. 

“You have to stand out. But, of course, you must have meaningful things to say, and you must be sure and prepared. If you are articulate and knowledgeable but don’t stand out, it’s also not going to work. There are different ways of doing that. You can stand out with the way you dress, with the way you speak, with being open,” she argues.

For Ambassador Piórko, progress in diplomacy has not meant the disappearance of stereotypes. Throughout her career, she has witnessed how women leaders are often judged differently and expected to fit preconceived notions of what leadership should look like. Early in her career as a political adviser, she faced assumptions that her achievements were due to personal relationships rather than merit. Another stereotype she has encountered is the idea that women are ‘too emotional’ and that expressing emotions somehow makes them less effective leaders and diplomats. Rather than seeing emotions as a liability, she believes that they are a source of authenticity and strength.

In her own words: “I think the most famous stereotype I have seen all my life is the one about women being emotional. When we show emotions, we are called hysterical. I very much believe in the power of emotions. If I give one piece of advice, it is this: don’t ever give up on them. Follow your emotions. Trust your emotions.” 

Although diplomacy is often viewed through its public-facing role, the personal realities behind it are less visible. Behind the title of ambassador lies a reality marked by constant moves, long distances and difficult choices for families. Ambassador Piórko delayed pursuing an ambassadorial posting for years to prioritise her daughter’s upbringing. Today, while serving in Moldova, she is experiencing her first prolonged separation from her family for the first time, with her daughter completing her final year of high school thousands of kilometres away. 

“People see the position, but behind it there are families, spouses and children. That’s why I worked in Brussels for a long time and only when my daughter was really high-school age did I move to an ambassadorial job. It’s not easy, but these are realities that need to be taken into account,” she reflects. 

Despite the challenges, Ambassador Piórko believes that diplomacy has brought invaluable experiences to her family. Living abroad and being immersed in different cultures offered perspectives she describes as eye-opening. Reflecting on her previous posting in Singapore, she says it “opened our eyes.” “It was fantastic to give this experience to my family,” she adds. Yet, above all her professional achievements, she values her role as a mother. “The best thing that happened in my life is not to be a boss. It is to have my daughter.”

While progress has been made, women remain underrepresented in diplomacy and decision-making worldwide. Globally, women hold just 27% of parliamentary seats, and at the current pace, achieving gender equality in positions of power could take more than a century. Yet women leaders and diplomats continue to challenge stereotypes and pave the way for future generations, demonstrating that there is no single path to leadership. 

Reflecting on her experience in the Republic of Moldova, Ambassador Piórko expresses admiration for the women she has encountered across institutions and public life. “I’m very impressed by the women I have met so far in Moldova. They do very hard jobs and they do them very well.” Her advice to women leaders remains simple: “Don’t ever give up on your emotions.”